her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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