The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
