Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
