I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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