am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
