Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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