Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
