Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
