I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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