I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
