the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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