So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
