Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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