honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
