Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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