It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
