Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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