I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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