in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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