i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
