I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize