I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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