maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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