All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
