I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
