peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize