Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
