Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize