glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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