Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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