How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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