so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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