So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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