What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
