Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
