Betty ford says i'm here all night
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
