Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
