Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
