He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
