No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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