my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize