Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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