he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I will be naked everywhere
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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