i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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