Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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