We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
