would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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