Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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