Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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