It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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