Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
