WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dicks are not precious.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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