My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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