You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
