Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
