Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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